Somewhere to Run to; Somewhere to Hide

I have been asked what lesson I learned from Aunt Ruth that changed me. 

 "I accept that life isn't easy.  I have my faith, but mostly I have a will to live, and that will comes from loving people."

This post is a reminder that lessons fade.  I forget that life isn't easy, until life reminds me.  I forget about my spirituality or the solace of faith, and then a close friend dies unexpectedly, and I look for guidance.  I find myself hurt, disappointed, or at odds with someone's perspective that differs from my own, and I harken back, time and time again to the importance of loving people.  

Aunt Ruth is my island, my beacon, and my map.  Her 92 years hold recipes filled with ingredients to make life meaningful, sweeter, and acceptable even when it holds illness, arguments, bad news, financial woes, or a dinner party that has me seated next to someone with political views I abhor.

If you have your own Aunt Ruth, I know how lucky you are.

I Could Have, Would Have, Should Have....

Aunt Ruth and I have blogged a lot about the importance of friends...hers!   I haven't mentioned how much getting to know her friends has meant to me.  The women on each side of Aunt Ruth are all in their nineties, and last night, I had the honor of photographing the birthday queen, Jean, as she celebrated her 90th birthday with her family and life-long friends.  


Jean is an accomplished baker, pianist, singer, and all-around pal.  See that smile on her face?  She has it all the time, and it generates a similar response in those who know her.  I would never have crossed her path without picking up my camera to photograph Aunt Ruth, and oh how much I would have missed.


Without a doubt, my life is surely better (and more fattening) from spending time with Aunt Ruth and her welcoming friends, so here's to the 90's, friends, family, and the joy of being behind the lens.


I left the party far sooner than the rest of the dancing guests, but I will never forget the tributes, the tunes, or the collective wisdom on that dance floor.  


I think I will call a friend....

Just Let it Grow....

Summer solstice. Produce stands.  Aunt Ruth's terrace!  That's the place I go when I long for companionship that is nurturing and easy. 

Like you, I read about aging and the importance of socialization as if this need is more important to "the elderly" than to the "rest of us."  One of the many lessons I have learned from photographing, listening to, eating with, and enjoying Aunt Ruth is that my life is richer, happier, and more meaningful from time spent with Aunt Ruth.  

At 92, Aunt Ruth is often grieving from the loss of a neighbor or a life-long friend.  I share my own worries about loved ones.  She listens, nods, smiles, and offers lessons from a well-lived life.  We comfort each other.  We sit on the terrace covered in carefully tended flowers and enjoy casual conversation with a tenderness born from unconditional love that soothes and warms.

I even take a short nap.  Aunt Ruth watches me sleep.

Ah, summer.  Ah, Aunt Ruth! 

One Thing I Know For Sure...

I've been feeling a little less than lately, so I had dinner at Aunt Ruth's last night.  I know that Oprah has been the nation's therapist, ultimate gift giver, inspiration, and teacher of best lives for so many, but for me, it's Aunt Ruth! ( All right, so I also like Oprah and so does Aunt Ruth)


Aunt Ruth and I were sitting in her living room talking about the usual topics ranging from the economy to her current discovery of cutting up those small cucumbers you can get at Mark's and putting them into a jar of leftover pickle juice to make some swell snacks, when I found myself asking, "Aunt Ruth, what do you know for sure?"


Without hesitation, she said:


1.  Time doesn't ask if you want more time.  It keeps going on like a river, so you better take advantage of it!


2.  I know for sure that I have many good friends.  They are vital to my life, and I have had many of the same friends since I was three.


Then, there was a pause....and she said:


3.  I know for sure that getting old is very hard to accept.  When I was young, I never thought I'd get old.  I know for sure that I have had to accept being old, otherwise I would turn into a miserable old lady, and there are already enough of them!


4.  I know for sure that you have to like to eat to be a good cook.  You must taste while you cook to know if what you're making is any good.


5.  I know for sure that being an aunt is easier than being a parent.  I don't have any responsibility as an aunt.


6.  I know for sure that being a wife means being truthful.


7.  I know for sure that to be a good sister you must love each other, but even more important, you must respect and help each other.  I adored my older sister, and I miss her every day.


We sat in silence for a while, and she smiled and said,


"Honey, what I know for sure is that love is the most important thing in your life.  It is the greatest gift.

Here's to Loving Aunt Ruth.....and her sweet family....

Hope Springs

Aunt Ruth believes that life is more delicious when shared.  I just hung up the phone with her and learned that Connie and she are baking cookies to box and deliver to friends.  


Last week, I was really tired and a bit woe-is-me-ish when I decided to channel for what has become my inner Aunt Ruth.  Instead of throwing a pity party which always has one guest, the hostess (that's me), I decided to fire up the oven, grab the sautee pan, and make a casserole, cupcakes, and even appetizers to give to a close friend whose family illness and 3 jobs hasn't  allowed her much time for meal preparation.


I felt so Aunt Ruth.  Humming as I cooked and smiling with each whiff of food, I forgot my cares.  As you can see from the laughing ladies at one of Aunt Ruth's parties, she has that effect on people.


Magic?  Try it and let us know...

Worth Repeating

In the last 48 hours, I watched as over 700 photographers became a part of a movement to donate some of their work in order to raise money through auction to aid Japan.  The posts repeated this refrain, "Thank you for the opportunity to help."  Aline Smithson, creator of www.lenscratch.blogspot.com and Crista Dix at Wallspace Gallery and others worked tirelessly to offer us the chance to make a difference. (see http://lifesupportjapan.blospot.com)


I am reminded of the day I asked Aunt Ruth how she stayed determined during a life of joy and tremendous loss.  She said, "My faith helps me, but I accept that life isn't easy.  You must have a will to live, and that will comes from loving people."


Indeed.

2.5 months till 92....but who's counting?

There were three of us photographers working at The Ninetieth birthday party 2 years ago this May.  These are some of the moments captured by the talented, Sarah Balch.  I'm in the orange jacket with the black-and-white film camera doing the final shots for loving aunt ruth.  Three photographers are required when the hostess invites 165 guests!  I've said this before, but I don't even know that many people except in a virtual way on Facebook!

With Aunt Ruth's 92nd birthday approaching, I am reminded that this project began with a party and ended with a party, but loving Aunt Ruth will never end.  When I asked Aunt Ruth if I could photograph her for a long-term endeavor, she said, "Sure, I'll have a tea party, so you can meet some of my friends."  

She continues to teach me the importance of her daily mantra which I am in the mood to repeat.  "I accept that life is not easy.  You must have a will to live, and that will comes from loving people.  Aunt Ruth has friends of all ages, ethnicities, abilities,and sizes.   She does love them all.  Tea parties, Seders, Cocktail Parties, Hanukah, Birthday Parties, and...the will to live comes from loving and sharing that love.  She does.  She does.

I'm trying...