honey lazar

Loving Aunt Ruth is Easy

2012-02-14T06:29:00.000-08:00

(please click on the image to enlarge)

Valentine's Day is an ideal time to share another page of the forthcoming, Loving Aunt Ruth. Aunt Ruth has given her unconditional love to so many, and at 92 1/2, as she likes to say, she is still sharing her compassion. Whenever our time together ends, we hug and say, "Forever."

My husband and I started a tradition when our children were small of saying "Good night. I love you," every single night. Okay, most nights. With our children grown and living away, the tradition has distilled into the acronym, GNILY, as our way of ending phone calls and visits. Definitely, a ritual that gets the Aunt Ruth Seal of Love Approval!

Aunt Ruth and I would love to know what you do. Tell us your love story!

Happy Valentine's Day....love, honey and Aunt Ruth

A single rose can be my garden... a single friend, my world. Leo Buscaglia

2012-01-25T05:30:00.000-08:00

When people ask me to talk about how Aunt Ruth has changed my life or might even influence their own, one of my answers is, "Connie."

Connie represents so many aspects of aging, acceptance, kindness, and open-mindedness that I think about the relationship she and Aunt Ruth have forged as an example of how good life can be when you really love people.

Connie is a professional care-giver who worked for other people in Aunt Ruth's building long before Aunt Ruth thought about needing some help of her own. Through the years, she opened her door to Connie who walked in and talked about her life, told jokes, and found not only great food but a shoulder on which to lay her own troubles.

Connie has not had an easy life, but she prevailed over obstacles any one of which might have sidelined the very best of us. Aunt Ruth doesn't judge anyone. "Live and let live" is her credo, and they are more than words to her. I can't say that I am as evolved, but photographing Aunt Ruth, listening to her wisdom, and watching the love between Connie and her bloom into a best friendship is surely motivating. I'm working on that open mind thing!

I began this project 6 years ago, and shortly thereafter, Aunt Ruth hired Connie to help her with tasks that were becoming difficult for her. I asked Aunt Ruth to describe what Connie does for her now, and here's what she said:

I have grown to trust her completely. She is sincere, honest, capable, and she is my best friend. Oh, don't worry, Honey, she isn't a niece, but I have a big heart with room for all. Connie helps me with my morning shower. After all, I will be 93 this May, so daily care is difficult for me. I have taught Connie all of my cooking methods, and she has become a great cook. I like to keep her company in the kitchen now, act as her sous chef, and watch my mother's recipes unfold in young hands.

I used to be a good driver. I drove in the Army, but I don't see so well any more, so Connie takes me where I need to go. She is hard-working, and by the way, she can fix anything. She takes care of me when I am down. We know each other well, enjoy doing the same things.

I would be lost without Connie.

It is not easy to recognize when it is time to let someone pick up where time is forcing you to leave off, but Aunt Ruth has gradually done so through the friendship she has made with Connie. Connie is terrific, but so is Aunt Ruth, and because Aunt Ruth has Connie in her life, all of us who love Aunt Ruth never have to worry about her. The lesson?

At any time and at any age, we will need help. Recognizing the importance of give and take, of respect, of non-judgemental compassion will make all our recipes taste better, our showers feel safer, and the time we have left be one that is shared with a best friend.

3D Aunt Ruth

2011-12-29T08:20:00.000-08:00

This is the last night of Hanukah, and the last week of 2011, so forgive me
for being a little sentimental about Aunt Ruth and the book, Loving Aunt Ruth.

A few years ago, I took the edited 11x14 fiber prints to a portfolio review session . A reviewer said, "Why would anyone care about an old Jewish woman?" Hmmmm. There have been over 10,000 hits to this blog, and while I realize that CNN gets that many hits each minute, I think it is safe to say that Aunt Ruth reminds us to care which is the whole idea.

Isn't it?

This Hanukah, Aunt Ruth served holiday fare to our family, told jokes about LeBron James, lit candles, and offered me a new life lesson. "Honey, there are some problems you just can't fix." She is hip, honest, fun, funny, wise, and loving, and she makes me want to be a better person. I think that's the point.

Isn't it?

From the bottom of my heart, I thank you all for caring about Aunt Ruth which likely means you care about a lot of other people. Which....well....is what gives us all a will to live according to Aunt Ruth.

See you all next year.

With love,

Aunt Ruth and Honey

"Me Want Cookies," Cookie Monster

2011-12-19T11:03:00.000-08:00

Think what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world, had cookies and milk about three o'clock every afternoon and then lay down on our blankets for a nap.
Barbara Jordan, the first African-American Woman elected to the House of Representatives

This is another page from the book dummy, and I chose it because, like many of us, Aunt Ruth is busy baking for the holidays. As I think about this season and Aunt Ruth's way of life, her operating system of goodness and giving comes to mind.

She cooks to make people happy.

Imagine that?

Happy Holidays to each and every one of you from Aunt Ruth and Me

(if you would like a cookie recipe from Aunt Ruth, she'll be happy to share. just leave a request here or directly to honeylazar4@gmail.com)

Let's Make A Deal

2011-11-27T10:28:00.000-08:00

For 21 years, those gathered in our home write into a Book of Thanks by answering a question which I pose. This year, we wrote our wishes in the book, and it prompted the idea of asking Aunt Ruth to make a video about hers.

For all those who love Aunt Ruth and follow this blog, she sends the following wishes: (I couldn't choose which clip to share, so in the spirit of Thanksgiving abundance, I included both of them!)

Aunt Ruth and I send our gratitude to all of those who enjoy the blog and sincerely thank each and every one of you for being a part of "our family."

Who Are You Calling a Dummy?

2011-11-08T10:45:00.000-08:00

This post is going to be short and sweet which is apt, since these are two words that describe my Aunt Ruth. (please note, that because I stand 5'9", I might be a tad off with my notion of "short.")

The book dummy is off to press, and the marketing of the actual book which will be filled with my photographs and Aunt Ruth's life lessons along with MANY of her recipes is in full swing!

Aunt Ruth and I began this endeavor 5 years ago with no real sense of what would happen, but through the guidance of Mary Virginia Swanson, Mim Adkins, Sam Abbell, Leah Bendavid-Val, Keron Psillas, Garie Waltzer, Gabrielle Schubart, and Maria Grillo who comprise a team of designers, advisors, photographers, and with the brilliance of Verve Editions', Gary Chassman, Loving Aunt Ruth, became reality.

I will post our progress, but I am pleased to preview the cover which was beautifully designed by Maria Grillo and Gabrielle Schubart of The Grillo Group, http://www.grillogroup.com/, and as time goes on, I will preview some of the pages that were carefully created with the help of Gary Chassman, http://www.verveeditions.com/ and, of course, Aunt Ruth!

Please post any comments/responses that you care to share about Aunt Ruth, especially any requests you have for recipes or wisdom.

Hope to see you all on a bookshelf in the near future!!!

Before closing this exciting preview blog, I want to thank my special team. Deep gratitude to Elizabeth Glorioso, Tanya Shteinfeld, Lauren Juratovac, Connie Gooden, and Sarah Balch who gave of themselves by scanning, correcting, carrying lights, photographing, doing "homework," and for loving Aunt Ruth.

Most of all, I thank my Aunt Ruth who always closes our conversations by saying, "I love you forever."

The Space Between

2011-10-19T08:25:00.000-07:00

The Space Between
Your heart and mine
Is the space we'll fill with time
The Space Between...dave matthews band

My mother, Leah, and her sister were very close. They built their houses across the street from one another at the end of a dead end road. My sisters and my cousins had a lot of fun deciding where to have dinner! I was born 6 years after my middle sister and 11 from my eldest, so there was a large space between which we have spent the rest of our lives filling in with time, tears, laughter, support, and love.

My dad died when I was 3, and my mom remarried. We moved to another city, but Leah and Ruth cared for one another as if there was no space between. These photos were taken at the last party my mom had before she died. All the guests posed in front of "little Leah," and I just love the off kilter photo of Aunt Ruth with her sweetie of over 60 years, my Uncle Bob. Uncle Bob died a year before my mom, 11 years ago.

Aunt Ruth lives life with determination in the face of sadness and loss, and I appreciate that one of the reasons she goes forward is that she filled all the spaces in her life by loving others through community service, dinner parties, phone calls, and unsolicited acts of kindness.

I am grateful for the lessons I am learning from Aunt Ruth. My sister moved away 4 years ago, and because of Aunt Ruth's influence, we filled in our space between to bridge distance with love.

Thanks, Aunt Ruth for reminding me to "always have love in my life." Perhaps, you can relate to this lesson in your own life.

my big sister giving me a lift

What the World Needs Now...

2011-09-27T06:26:00.000-07:00

I love my morning ritual of coffee and the newspaper, but lately, I find the news filled with too much vitriol. Bad news isn't new, and I understand that it has always been news, but it seems to be coming from everywhere. The Right, the Left, the world....the market is plummeting and flood waters are rising. Natural and man made disasters abound.

The front page story of yesterday's, New York Times featured fed up flood victims in Pennsylvania feeling frustrated that FEMA is running short of money while "Members of Congress are playing with people's lives, not just their own political careers." In the same section's "Op Ed" page, Paul Krugman ends his editorial about the euro by saying, "...it's hard to find reasons for optimism."

...which brings me to a mantra that I find myself saying since working on the book, loving aunt ruth and this blog...the world could use a little more Aunt Ruth! Two images speak to how she navigates the coming Jewish holidays and life.

Faith and Food guide Aunt Ruth and inspire me to be more mindful of others and surely more giving. Aunt Ruth cooks for the purpose of sharing the food. Over 40 years ago, she sat around a temple table culling recipes to edit for a cookbook. More sharing. More food. More faith and a lot of Friendship.

This Jewish New Year, Aunt Ruth will set her table for our family. She is 92, and relies on her caregiver/best friend, Connie, for help with the meal. I have offered to assume the responsibility, but she won't hear of it. She has too many friends in her apartment building to include, and besides, she would miss the joy of preparation.

May we all find our inner Aunt Ruth that reminds us that loving people is the key to our happiness.

Happy New Year from Aunt Ruth and me!

Loving Aunt Ruth

2011-09-07T11:11:00.000-07:00

"As long as you are alive, you will have problems. It is important to embrace the joys," said Aunt Ruth, as I chatted an update on a recent visit to see my sisters. The squinting girl in the photo's forefront is my middle sister, Janellen, and the other girl is the eldest of us, Phyllis. The adults in this photo are my grandparents, the parents of my wonderful Aunt Ruth. I am not in this picture, because I am six years younger than the middle sister, so I wasn't born yet. My mother and Aunt Ruth built their houses across the street from each other at the end of a dead end road, so my sisters grew up giggling in Aunt Ruth's kitchen until we moved away when they were 12 and 18.

My sisters are very dear to Aunt Ruth (I know, who isn't?), and they are facing some challenges, but I know they will be feeling on top of the world, because Aunt Ruth is making nut toast which she will send to the East Coast with her best friend and caregiver, Connie. Connie is taking a vacation and will stop along the way to visit my sisters, the adored nieces of Aunt Ruth. If you are readers of this blog, you know that an Aunt Ruth Reflex is to cook and deliver.

Life surely has problems, but a good piece of nut toast can dull the senses to trouble and infuse the heart and stomach with joy. In working on the book, loving aunt ruth, and writing this blog, I have taste tested a lot of happiness. I highly recommend it.

If you know someone who might need an antidote to life's bumps, try some of Aunt Ruth's nut toast.

Nut Toast

4 eggs, separated
1 Cup of sugar
1 oz water
1/2 t allspice-Aunt Ruth says this is Very important for flavor
2 Cups walnuts
1 3/4 Cup flour, sifted
pinch of salt

1. Beat the yolks with the sugar
2. Add the water and allspice and beat until thick and lemon colored
3. Whip egg whites
4. Fold in beaten whites and sifted flour a little at a time
5. Mix nuts with 1 T of flour and add them to mixture
6. Bake in a greased and floured loaf pan at 375 for 1 hour
7. When cooled, thinly slice the loaf and place on a cookie sheet to "toast"
8. Cook for approx. 5 minutes on each side-be sure to watch carefully so as not to burn them.

Aunt Ruth suggests that these toasts be stored in tins to insure longevity to the crunch! I also suspect that it makes them a pretty presentation when she gives them away.

Kreplach is Gone....Love is Forever

2011-08-29T08:52:00.000-07:00

All of the previous preparations came together for a delicious dinner with Aunt Ruth. Connie, Aunt Ruth's helper, best friend, and caring companion was on hand to bring her usual levity and good cheer which is always just the right seasoning for any recipe.
There is something special about kreplach and the Jewish holidays that are coming next month, but they would be far less meaningful without Aunt Ruth's love. We are all full from her goodness and generosity and the unconditional love she serves in heaping helpings.

Okay, the kreplach is pretty great too!

Here is Aunt Ruth's Kreplach recipe...Serve it Up with Love and Laughter.

Aunt Ruth’s Kreplach Soup

5 lbs brisket to make 50+ kreplachs

Roast the brisket in a pan, fat side up. Cover it with LOTS of onions and pour 1 bottle of chili sauce over the top. Add a can of beef broth and cover the pan with heavy foil.

Roast at 350 until fork tender (about 3-4 hours). Keep a careful watch on the liquid to see if you have to add more beef broth.

When done, put the brisket on a platter. Place the drippings and the onions in a separate bowl and refrigerate overnight.

The following day, degrease the drippings and trim ALL the fat off of the brisket, and then cut it into pieces and grind it in a meat grinder (I use my Kitchenaid) while adding the drippings and onions a little at a time. Brisket-drippings-onions, etc.

You will want the brisket to be pasty, so it will hold together when rolled into balls the size of an egg yolk which you will place into the kreplach noodle. Some years ago, I began using wonton skins, so follow the directions on the wrapper for any wonton questions!

Roll the brisket into a ball, lay on wonton, and tightly pinch closed. At this point, I freeze them in a single layer on a cookie sheet, so they may be bagged for later use.

Simmer them in a pot of water with a chicken broth cube for about 8 minutes or until hot and remove and serve it in a delicious chicken stock.

Of course, I make my own soup.

Enjoy!

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?

2011-08-09T08:21:00.000-07:00

Aunt Ruth learned that her nephew and his girlfriend were coming into town for a visit, and Connie and she immediately went into kreplach overdrive. It is a several day affair, because the stuffing of these precious packages requires shopping for just the right ingredients (brisket), making the soup, preparing the stuffing, and then assembling all those kreplachs . Connie and Aunt Ruth have a beautiful rhythm that hums along, as they share tasks and stories.

Kreplach is a dumpling that Aunt Ruth fills with ground brisket and has served to her loving family and friends for the Jewish holiday, Rosh Hashanah, for....well... many years. After all, she is 92 and still cooking, so you do the math! Once my son announced his late August visit with his girlfriend, she decided to celebrate the holiday earlier than its late September date. "Why not?" she asked.

When I heard that the "kreplach factory" was in full production mode, I grabbed my camera and expected to by a happy observer, but as always, I walked away from Aunt Ruth's with more than a recipe for a special dish.

Sharing traditions, special foods, and laughter are the ingredients that serve up memories and become the ingredients for a meaningful life.

This year, I will have 2 Rosh Hashanas! Lucky me! If you want the recipe for Aunt Ruth's kreplach, send me a direct email, and we will gladly pass along the goodness.

(That skeleton is Connie's doll whom Aunt Ruth and she call "girlfriend," and during the hours of assemblage, they refer to her and share giggles. They have so much fun)

Take This Test and....

2011-07-18T11:42:00.000-07:00

Aunt Ruth and Connie went to Aunt Ruth's doctor today for a check up, and they decided to give her a memory test. One of the items was to write a simple sentence, so Aunt Ruth wrote:

This test is boring.

I love my Aunt Ruth!

(thank you, connie, for sharing this hilarity with me)

Somewhere to Run to; Somewhere to Hide

2011-07-13T06:16:00.000-07:00

I have been asked what lesson I learned from Aunt Ruth that changed me.

"I accept that life isn't easy. I have my faith, but mostly I have a will to live, and that will comes from loving people."

This post is a reminder that lessons fade. I forget that life isn't easy, until life reminds me. I forget about my spirituality or the solace of faith, and then a close friend dies unexpectedly, and I look for guidance. I find myself hurt, disappointed, or at odds with someone's perspective that differs from my own, and I harken back, time and time again to the importance of loving people.

Aunt Ruth is my island, my beacon, and my map. Her 92 years hold recipes filled with ingredients to make life meaningful, sweeter, and acceptable even when it holds illness, arguments, bad news, financial woes, or a dinner party that has me seated next to someone with political views I abhor.

If you have your own Aunt Ruth, I know how lucky you are.

I Could Have, Would Have, Should Have....

2011-06-26T07:41:00.000-07:00

Aunt Ruth and I have blogged a lot about the importance of friends...hers! I haven't mentioned how much getting to know her friends has meant to me. The women on each side of Aunt Ruth are all in their nineties, and last night, I had the honor of photographing the birthday queen, Jean, as she celebrated her 90th birthday with her family and life-long friends.

Jean is an accomplished baker, pianist, singer, and all-around pal. See that smile on her face? She has it all the time, and it generates a similar response in those who know her. I would never have crossed her path without picking up my camera to photograph Aunt Ruth, and oh how much I would have missed.

Without a doubt, my life is surely better (and more fattening) from spending time with Aunt Ruth and her welcoming friends, so here's to the 90's, friends, family, and the joy of being behind the lens.

I left the party far sooner than the rest of the dancing guests, but I will never forget the tributes, the tunes, or the collective wisdom on that dance floor.

I think I will call a friend....

Just Let it Grow....

2011-06-21T06:52:00.000-07:00

Summer solstice. Produce stands. Aunt Ruth's terrace! That's the place I go when I long for companionship that is nurturing and easy.

Like you, I read about aging and the importance of socialization as if this need is more important to "the elderly" than to the "rest of us." One of the many lessons I have learned from photographing, listening to, eating with, and enjoying Aunt Ruth is that my life is richer, happier, and more meaningful from time spent with Aunt Ruth.

At 92, Aunt Ruth is often grieving from the loss of a neighbor or a life-long friend. I share my own worries about loved ones. She listens, nods, smiles, and offers lessons from a well-lived life. We comfort each other. We sit on the terrace covered in carefully tended flowers and enjoy casual conversation with a tenderness born from unconditional love that soothes and warms.

I even take a short nap. Aunt Ruth watches me sleep.

Ah, summer. Ah, Aunt Ruth!

One Thing I Know For Sure...

2011-06-03T09:12:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling a little less than lately, so I had dinner at Aunt Ruth's last night. I know that Oprah has been the nation's therapist, ultimate gift giver, inspiration, and teacher of best lives for so many, but for me, it's Aunt Ruth! ( All right, so I also like Oprah and so does Aunt Ruth)

Aunt Ruth and I were sitting in her living room talking about the usual topics ranging from the economy to her current discovery of cutting up those small cucumbers you can get at Mark's and putting them into a jar of leftover pickle juice to make some swell snacks, when I found myself asking, "Aunt Ruth, what do you know for sure?"

Without hesitation, she said:

1. Time doesn't ask if you want more time. It keeps going on like a river, so you better take advantage of it!

2. I know for sure that I have many good friends. They are vital to my life, and I have had many of the same friends since I was three.

Then, there was a pause....and she said:

3. I know for sure that getting old is very hard to accept. When I was young, I never thought I'd get old. I know for sure that I have had to accept being old, otherwise I would turn into a miserable old lady, and there are already enough of them!

4. I know for sure that you have to like to eat to be a good cook. You must taste while you cook to know if what you're making is any good.

5. I know for sure that being an aunt is easier than being a parent. I don't have any responsibility as an aunt.

6. I know for sure that being a wife means being truthful.

7. I know for sure that to be a good sister you must love each other, but even more important, you must respect and help each other. I adored my older sister, and I miss her every day.

We sat in silence for a while, and she smiled and said,

"Honey, what I know for sure is that love is the most important thing in your life. It is the greatest gift.

Here's to Loving Aunt Ruth.....and her sweet family....

May Your Wish Come True When You're 92

2011-05-10T15:29:00.000-07:00

Today, Aunt Ruth is 92, and my husband and I hosted a light lunch for her. I say it was "light," because her 90th birthday included 165 friends, so this gathering was surely a reduced amount. The guests are heavy in style and substance and humor and wisdom.

I asked Aunt Ruth to share the best part of her 90's, and she answered, "That's easy. Having them!!!!" And then she laughed (see last photo in this series.)

(Aunt Ruth asked me to thank all of you who read this blog, and she hopes your wishes come true too even if you're not 92....yet!)

Mother's Day Thoughts on Being an Aunt

2011-05-05T05:40:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day is complicated for Aunt Ruth. Her sister's husband died on Mother's Day which also happened to coincide with her birthday that year. Aunt Ruth and her husband, Bob, lived across the street from her sister, and the 2 couples were extraordinarily close. The death of her sister's husband changed life, as these tragedies do and put a pall on Mother's Day for a long time.

Aunt Ruth had two adorable and loving children who have been gone for many years which makes Mother's Day difficult. If you have been reading this blog for a while, you know that Aunt Ruth mines life's experiences for wisdom that helps her transcend her sorrow.

Since I am her fortunate niece, I asked Aunt Ruth for her thoughts on being an aunt, because she surely is looked upon with motherly reverence by my sisters and me. Aunts matter (uncles too!).

"I try to be a good friend to my nieces, great nieces, and now great great nieces! I do anything that I think a Mother would do, and when I offer advice, I remind them that they can take it or leave it. I am always available in joy or sorrow, and I try to be helpful. I love hearing about their achievements and the good that they do.

What fills me with hope and joy is how thoughtful and loving my nieces and nephews are. When they call or visit me, their love is the best gift in the world, because nothing else matters. Love is the best gift in the world."

Happy Mother's Day from Aunt Ruth and me.........may you receive the best gift in the world.

Seder in the Nineties

2011-04-20T14:26:00.000-07:00

Seder was bountiful and beautiful. Aunt Ruth and Connie set a gorgeous table and prepared a fabulous meal, and each of the guests contributed something special from chopped liver and homemade Passover rolls to that lip-smacking flourless torte in the final photo.

Passover is about optimism, rebirth, and faith, and each of those tenets was offered up by the wise guests at the table. Four of these guests are 90 and older! Others were not far behind...

Here is what I learned when you are going to a seder with people who are in their nineties:

1. Dress beautifully-this is the Greatest Generation of men and woman who do not leave the house without looking their best, so forget that this night is about slouching and being casual!
2. Listen when others are speaking-remember that while it is tempting to interrupt, you learn more when you pay attention.
3. Encourage storytelling-if you are lucky enough to have so much wisdom on either side of you, ask questions. The handsome man in the photos grew up in a Jewish Children's Home. He was never adopted along with 400 others, and his tales are all lessons in joy, survival, and the importance of hope and humor.
4. Take pictures. You will want to remember this wonderful night, and it is nice to send the photos to the guests as memories of seder, 2011.

My youngest son called last night to extend his wishes, and as Aunt Ruth was hanging up, she offered the final lesson: "Make sure to always have love in your life." Indeed.

May Passover and Easter bring love to all of you.

Renewal

2011-04-11T11:16:00.000-07:00

As Passover approaches, the chicken soup bubbles, and those yummy matzo balls get ready to float, I am deeply grateful for another round of Haggadah reading, laughing, and great food. Aunt Ruth, Connie, and Rosetta are busy preparing food and setting the table with the many dishes required for this joyous holiday of slouching, wine, hard boiled eggs, chatter, and faith.

I have photographed these Seders for the last five years with gusto and a deep gratitude that I hope is reflected in each of the images shared on the blog and in loving aunt ruth.

This is the holiday of redemption, renewal, and optimism all of which are part of the human condition we share. Aunt Ruth is all about sharing! As you know from reading this blog, half of the reason she cooks is to share a meal with family and friends. In the spirit of my sweet and generous aunt, here is our favorite

charoset recipe.

Sephardic Charoset

1/2 cup grated coconut (optional)

1/2 ground walnuts

1/4 sugar

2 teaspoons cinnamon

1 cup raisins

1 cup dried apricots

1/2 cup dried apples

/2 cup prunes

1/2 cup dried pears

12-ounce jar cherry preserves

In the Food Processor

1. Insert metal blade.Combine coconut, walnuts, sugar, and cinnamon with 2 or 3 pulses. Add dried fruits and chop with 3 or 4 pulses, until mixture is in medium-size pieces.

2. Place in 4-qt pot, adding water to cover. Simmer uncovered, stirring occasionally with a wooden spoon for approximately 1 hour. When mixture begins to thicken and come together, stir in cherry preserves. Remove from heat. Coo.

Conventional Prep

Mix the coconut, walnuts, sugar, and cinnamon together. Chop dried fruits with a grinder or chopping bowl and proceed to step 2.

(this recipe is also fabulous on ice cream! it comes from Something Different for Passover, by Zell J. Schulman and has been enjoyed at our family seders for nearly 15 years. )

Happy Passover and Happy Easter from Aunt Ruth and me

Hope Springs

2011-03-28T11:54:00.000-07:00

Aunt Ruth believes that life is more delicious when shared. I just hung up the phone with her and learned that Connie and she are baking cookies to box and deliver to friends.

Last week, I was really tired and a bit woe-is-me-ish when I decided to channel for what has become my inner Aunt Ruth. Instead of throwing a pity party which always has one guest, the hostess (that's me), I decided to fire up the oven, grab the sautee pan, and make a casserole, cupcakes, and even appetizers to give to a close friend whose family illness and 3 jobs hasn't allowed her much time for meal preparation.

I felt so Aunt Ruth. Humming as I cooked and smiling with each whiff of food, I forgot my cares. As you can see from the laughing ladies at one of Aunt Ruth's parties, she has that effect on people.

Magic? Try it and let us know...

Worth Repeating

2011-03-15T05:14:00.000-07:00

In the last 48 hours, I watched as over 700 photographers became a part of a movement to donate some of their work in order to raise money through auction to aid Japan. The posts repeated this refrain, "Thank you for the opportunity to help." Aline Smithson, creator of www.lenscratch.blogspot.com and Crista Dix at Wallspace Gallery and others worked tirelessly to offer us the chance to make a difference. (see http://lifesupportjapan.blospot.com)

I am reminded of the day I asked Aunt Ruth how she stayed determined during a life of joy and tremendous loss. She said, "My faith helps me, but I accept that life isn't easy. You must have a will to live, and that will comes from loving people."

Indeed.

When I Grow Up, I....

2011-03-10T09:45:00.000-08:00

When I began photographing for loving aunt ruth, I thought that I was going to learn a great deal about "getting old," and while I have met many people who have more years on their licenses than I, I stopped thinking about decline and realized that Aunt Ruth was teaching me how to keep growing and learning by giving, listening, doing, and practicing the art of unconditional love.

She has shown me by her patient example how to be an aunt, a sister, a friend, an employer, a leader, and how to evolve into these roles with an open mind and heart. While she is brazen, she is equally compassionate and gentle. Learning when to lead and when to stand still is a dance I am practicing with my wonderful Aunt Ruth.

Why the eggs? I joined Aunt Ruth for dinner this past weekend, and I like to whip up an egg white salad, as it's high in protein and low in all the other things. Aunt Ruth didn't say a word about my choice despite my feeling like rejecting her delicious roasted chicken was bold on my part. Instead, Connie, her beloved caregiver/dear friend, and she made the eggs into a laughing matter.

I hope I can do the same someday. Thank you Aunt Ruth for reminding me that humor tempers sorrow and that even an ordinary egg can have a great face. When I grow up, I want to be just like you.

2.5 months till 92....but who's counting?

2011-03-02T08:25:00.000-08:00

There were three of us photographers working at The Ninetieth birthday party 2 years ago this May. These are some of the moments captured by the talented, Sarah Balch. I'm in the orange jacket with the black-and-white film camera doing the final shots for loving aunt ruth. Three photographers are required when the hostess invites 165 guests! I've said this before, but I don't even know that many people except in a virtual way on Facebook!

With Aunt Ruth's 92nd birthday approaching, I am reminded that this project began with a party and ended with a party, but loving Aunt Ruth will never end. When I asked Aunt Ruth if I could photograph her for a long-term endeavor, she said, "Sure, I'll have a tea party, so you can meet some of my friends."

She continues to teach me the importance of her daily mantra which I am in the mood to repeat. "I accept that life is not easy. You must have a will to live, and that will comes from loving people. Aunt Ruth has friends of all ages, ethnicities, abilities,and sizes. She does love them all. Tea parties, Seders, Cocktail Parties, Hanukah, Birthday Parties, and...the will to live comes from loving and sharing that love. She does. She does.

I'm trying...

Chief Memory Officer

2011-02-22T13:53:00.000-08:00

I recently spent time with a close friend who told me that when we collect our family stories, photos, and ephemera,we become Chief Memory Officers. In the case of loving aunt ruth, I think I am the Admin to the CMO, Aunt Ruth, whose memory remains tack sharp for all the answers to my myriad of questions. Aunt Ruth kept all of the photos, slides, and albums and has been generous with my need to know, to hear, to listen, and most importantly to learn from all of her lessons.

There is no way for me to express my gratitude to Aunt Ruth for her patience in being endlessly photographed, but I hope she knows that my heart is swollen with the magic she has bestowed. Our elders have so much to teach us, and since I have become a...gulp...gasp...sputter...senior...I find that I want to know how to continue to age from a teacher whose life is lived with fierce passion.

I am not alone in my quest. In today's New York Times, there is a wonderful article which I share. Please read it and let me know what you think. http://www.nytimes.com/2011/02/22/arts/22diaspora.html It is all about the importance of photos and story.

Mining Memories to Preserve the Past

By FELICIA R. LEE

Her memory is creaky, Dwania Kyles insisted, and most of the photographs that help unlock it are stored in her computer. But recently, sitting in a warren of rooms in Harlem as the light outside faded, she had a rush of recollections about her family and the night that the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. did not come to dinner.

Ms. Kyles and Thomas Allen Harris, a documentary filmmaker, had donned white gloves to thumb through photographs of her parents in high school. “My parents left the promised land to jump into the lion’s den,” she said of their move from Chicago to Memphis to join the civil rights movement. On the evening in 1968 that King was expected at their home for soul food, her father, the Rev. Samuel B. Kyles, ended up with him on the balcony of the Lorraine Motel, where King was felled by an assassin.

Mr. Harris and Ms. Kyles, a 55-year-old wellness consultant and songwriter who lives in Harlem, were in his office ferreting out information for the filmmaker’s Digital Diaspora Family Reunion project. Since 2009, Mr. Harris has traveled the country collecting photographs and stories from families, then putting those and filmed interviews onto his Web site.

Now, Mr. Harris is taking his show onto the stage, presenting the stories he’s collected to a live audience using interactive media and old-fashioned storytelling. On Sunday afternoon, after dry runs around the country, the show will have its debut at the Harlem Stage Gatehouse. (The event will be streamed live to the Web site.)

At Harlem Stage and in future reunion cities, the enlarged photographs and accompanying stories will be presented to audiences who will be invited to trade family histories, ask questions and even identify people and locations. The project will also work as community history, with its glances at the places and people that define neighborhoods.

“It’s survivors and ‘firsts,’ ” the effervescent Mr. Harris said of the people he is documenting, few of them celebrities. “It’s the stories in history books and films about civil rights.”

As a kind of curator/master of ceremonies, Mr. Harris, who has made two acclaimed documentaries, “The 12 Disciples of Nelson Mandela,” about South African exiles who were part of the African National Congressand the anti-apartheid movement, and “É Minha Cara/That’s My Face,” about spirituality, looks to figure out which stories enlarge and provide context for many aspects of black life, from immigration to education to military service. “We are living with gold — one person in Atlanta came with a truckload of images dating back to the 1850s,” he said.

Photographs and stories can also be directly uploaded to the Web site, which features interviews with scholars, news about family reunions and images by black photographers.

A Harvard graduate who is in his ’40s, grew up in the Bronx and spent time in East Africa, Mr. Harris had long encouraged fans of his work to collect their own family stories, as he has done in his deeply personal films. It struck him that social media could be used to archive and share the results. His younger brother, Lyle Ashton Harris, is a prominent photographer and artist known for work that fuses aesthetic considerations and sociopolitical observation.

“All of my work is about identity, about how we represent ourselves to ourselves,” Thomas Allen Harris said.

“We take grandma for granted.” he said. “We need to understand that instead of looking outside ourselves for value, we can look inside.”

On Wednesday through Friday, Mr. Harris will set up shop at the Gatehouse, at 150 Convent Avenue, so people can bring him their family photographs and other documents (reservations are required, though there is a waiting list: email ddfrtv@gmail.com or call 212-281-6002). The photographs Mr. Harris selects will be digitized and put onto a DVD for their owner. All will be shown as part of a slide show at Harlem Stage, and some will be expanded into an interactive film for the Web site.

“The history of African-Americans has been told by so many people other than ourselves, and even in the telling it becomes abstract,” said Pat Cruz, the executive director of Harlem Stage. “With our family photographs, this opens up some doors as well as some eyes into what we are, on an intimate level.”

Recently, Mr. Harris received funding to complete another feature film, “Through a Lens Darkly: Black Photographers and the Emergence of a People.” It is an exploration of how black communities and photographers have used the camera as a tool for social change. Mr. Harris planned to show clips from the film at Harlem Stage on Sunday.

Both Digital Diaspora and “Through a Lens” offer visual counterpoint to the stereotypical, caricatured images of African-Americans that still circulate, said Deborah Willis, an art photographer and historian of African-American art and a professor at New York University. For participants, “it creates a reconsideration of what it means to preserve family history,” Professor Willis said. “Their excitement about sharing their history comes from a sense of providing evidence for those who might feel excluded, who feel they are not part of the larger discussion.”

The experience of telling and sharing stories and images can be revelatory and therapeutic, some said.

“You have to tell your story,” Mr. Harris told Ms. Kyles the other day, nudging her to recall that her father had knotted King’s tie an hour before he stepped out on the balcony.

“We were so excited about him coming to the house,” she said. Telling Mr. Harris about her time in Memphis, which included the lonely and humiliating experience of desegregating a school, was “healing,” Ms. Kyles said afterward.

Lana Turner, a 61-year-old real-estate agent who lives in Harlem, brought photographs of her parents to Mr. Harris’s office. Her father worked as a chauffeur, she said. She spread out images of him posed in front of an elegant, vintage car, and a 1952 photo with a group of natty men in suits who belonged to a chauffeurs’ club. Her mother, a chambermaid and a cook, wore a tiara in a photograph in which she and several other women were adorned in elegant white dresses.

“People took off their chauffeur’s uniforms or maid’s hats and they made joy out of a day that might have been drudgery,” Ms. Turner said softly.

The Turners were the kinds of unsung heroes who helped move the country forward, Mr. Harris said. “We need these stories,” he said, “to let the next generation know they come from a people who have made it by their bootstraps and made it for everyone around them, regardless of color and race.”

Aunt Ruth and I hope you are enjoying our collaboration. Here's to "preserving the past before it is lost" and understanding that the time to learn from it is right this minute.

(thanks to the incredibly talented elizabeth glorioso for taking this beautiful photograph. www.elizabethglorioso.com)

How Do You Know You're In Love?

2011-02-14T10:18:00.000-08:00

"How do you know when you're in love?" I asked Aunt Ruth.

"Oh, that's an easy question. You know you're in love when you can't think about anyone or anything else."

Happy Valentine's Day from Aunt Ruth and me...

Aunt Ruth and Age Empathy

2011-02-07T10:54:00.001-08:00

This article in yesterday's New York Times got me wondering if loving aunt ruth is my own "age empathy suit!" How glad I am that I have put it on, because I am in that boomer group who doesn't want to buy an "old lady" product. Neither does Aunt Ruth! If ever there was a time to pay attention to the lessons our elders teach us, it is clearly now!

Please let me know what you think.

Thanks, honey and Aunt Ruth

In a Graying Population, Business Opportunity

By NATASHA SINGER

CAMBRIDGE, Mass.

IT’S not easy being gray.

For the first time ever, getting out of a car is no picnic. My back is hunched. And I’m holding on to handrails as I lurch upstairs.

I’m 45. But I feel decades older because I’m wearing an Age Gain Now Empathy System, developed by researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Agnes, they call it.

At first glance, it may look like a mere souped-up jumpsuit. A helmet, attached by cords to a pelvic harness, cramps my neck and spine. Yellow-paned goggles muddy my vision. Plastic bands, running from the harness to each arm, clip my wingspan. Compression knee bands discourage bending. Plastic shoes, with uneven Styrofoam pads for soles, throw off my center of gravity. Layers of surgical gloves make me all thumbs.

The age-empathy suit comes from the M.I.T. AgeLab, where researchers designed Agnes to help product designers and marketers better understand older adults and create innovative products for them. Many industries have traditionally shied away from openly marketing to people 65 and older, viewing them as an unfashionable demographic group that might doom their product with young and hip spenders. But now that Americans are living longer and more actively, a number of companies are recognizing the staying power of the mature market.

“Aging is a multidisciplinary phenomenon, and it requires new tools to look at,” Joseph F. Coughlin, director of AgeLab, tells me, encumbered and fatigued after trying to conduct a round of interviews while wearing Agnes. Viewed through yellow goggles, the bright colors of Professor Coughlin’s bow tie appear dim. “Agnes is one of those tools,” he says.

AgeLab, like a handful of other research centers at universities and companies around the country, develops technologies to help older adults maintain their health, independence and quality of life. Companies come here to understand their target audience or to have their products, policies and services studied.

Often, visitors learn hard truths at AgeLab: many older adults don’t like products, like big-button phones, that telegraph agedness. “The reality is such that you can’t build an old man’s product, because a young man won’t buy it and an old man won’t buy it,” Professor Coughlin says.

The idea is to help companies design and sell age-friendly products — with customizable font size, say, or sound speed — much the way they did with environmentally friendly products. That means offering enticing features and packaging to appeal to a certain demographic without alienating other consumer groups. Baked potato chips are just one example of products that appeal to everybody but skew toward older people. Toothpastes that promise whitening or gum health are another.

Researchers at AgeLab are studying the stress levels of older adults who operate a hands-free parallel-parking system developed by Ford Motor. Although this ultrasonic-assisted system may make backing up easier for older adults who can’t turn their necks to the same degree they once did, the car’s features — like blind-spot detection and a voice-activated audio system — are intended to appeal to all drivers who enjoy smart technology.

“With any luck, if I am successful,” Professor Coughlin says, “retailers won’t know they are putting things on the shelves for older adults.”

THE first of about 76 million baby boomers in the United States turned 65 in January. They are looking forward to a life expectancy that is higher than that of any previous generation.

The number of people 65 and older is expected to more than double worldwide, to about 1.5 billion by 2050 from 523 million last year, according to estimates from the United Nations. That means people 65 and over will soon outnumber children under 5 for the first time ever. As a consequence, many people may have to defer their retirement — or never entirely retire — in order to maintain sustainable incomes.

Many economists view such an exploding population of seventy- and eighty-somethings not as an asset, but as a looming budget crisis. After all, by one estimate, treating dementia worldwide already costs more than $600 billion annually.

“No other force is likely to shape the future of national economic health, public finances and policy making,” analysts at Standard & Poor’s wrote in a recent report, “as the irreversible rate at which the world’s population is aging.”

The S.&P. analysis, called “Global Aging 2010,” warns that many countries are not prepared to cover the pension and health care costs of so many additional retirees; if those governments do not radically alter their age-related spending policies in the next few decades, the report said, national debts will grow to rival — or even more than double — gross domestic product.

But longevity-focused researchers including Professor Coughlin, whose blog is called Disruptive Demographics, are betting that baby boomers, unlike generations past, will not go gentle into the good night of long-term care. In fact, a few research groups at institutions like Oregon Health & Science University, M.I.T. and Stanford, along with foundations and the private sector, are devising policies and systems for an alternate scenario: older adults living independently at home for longer periods, whether that home is a private residence or a senior community. (this is aunt ruth)

Devices for I’ve-fallen-and-I-can’t-get-up catastrophes, they say, represent the old business of old age. The new business of old age involves technologies and services that promote wellness, mobility, autonomy and social connectivity. These include wireless pillboxes that transmit information about patients’ medication use, as well as new financial services, like “Second Acts” from Bank of America Merrill Lynch, that help people plan for longer lives and second careers.

Together, those kinds of products and services are already a multibillion-dollar market, industry analysts say. And if such innovations prove to promote health and independence, delaying entry into long-term care, the potential savings to the health care system could be even greater.

That’s the upbeat message that Eric Dishman, the global director of health innovation at Intel, has been trying to get across to policy makers and industry executives for more than a decade. A charismatic health policy wonk, Mr. Dishman has held audiences at TedMed conferences spellbound with his lecture on the subject, in which he carts around an old-school rotary telephone, a prop dramatizing the need to connect older adults and technology.

In his office in Beaverton, Ore., he demonstrates some prototypes, like a social networking system for senior housing centers, that older Americans are already testing. Often, he says, field studies of his gadgets result in “success catastrophes” — the devices prove so popular that testers and their families are loath to return them. The people testing the social network devices, for example, asked for extra models for off-campus friends.

“There is an enormous market opportunity to deliver technology and services that allow for wellness and prevention and lifestyle enhancement,” he says. “Whichever countries or companies are at the forefront of that are going to own the category.”

Industry is beginning to hear his message. Last month, a group including Bank of America Merrill Lynch, Pfizer, Johnson & Johnson and Aegon said it had formed the Global Coalition on Aging, to help governments and industries better handle the age boom. “Companies are starting to think about how they can be age friendly much the same way they have been thinking about how they could be environmentally friendly over the last couple of decades,” says Andy Sieg, the head of retirement services at Bank of America.

THE Mirabella, a new $130 million high-rise in the South Waterfront section of Portland, Ore., may be the greenest luxury retirement community in the nation.

The building has solar-heated hot water, a garage where valets stack cars in racks atop one another, sensors that turn off the lights when stairways are empty and platinum certification from Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design, or LEED, the group that sets national benchmarks for sustainable building.

But never mind the free loaner Priuses in the garage. The Mirabella also aspires to be the grayest — by providing an opportunity to develop and test the latest home-health technology and design concepts for older adults.

The building’s architects, Ankrom Moisan Associated Architects, turned on its head the idea of putting retirees out to pasture. This urban high-rise, conveniently located next to Oregon Health and Science University, enables residents to stay as healthy, engaged and socially connected as possible, says Jeff Los, a principal in the firm.

“Historically, upscale senior housing has been a rural three-story entity spread over 30 acres,” he says. “This is a 30-story building on one acre with a streetcar stop at the front door.”

The developers, Pacific Retirement Services, bought land from the university with the idea of encouraging research next door, at the school’s Oregon Center for Aging & Technology, also known as Orcatech. As part of that project, the company spent nearly a half-million dollars to install fiber optic cables so that Mirabella residents could be encouraged to volunteer for a “living laboratory” program in which wireless motion sensors, installed in their apartments, track their mobility and, by extension, their health status in real time.

Older adults in other parts of the city are already participating in the program; researchers hope to prove that continually monitoring them can help predict and prevent problems like falls, or even social withdrawal, says Dr. Jeffrey Kaye, a neurology professor who directs Orcatech.

And some residents may eventually want to modify the monitoring system so that they can download and make use of their own health data, Mr. Los says.

In fact, even before Mirabella opened last fall, residents asked for adjustments to the building. They demanded space in the garage for their kayaks, recalls Mr. Dishman, who serves on the building’s steering committee.

“Baby boomers are going to be very different seniors,” he says.

ABOUT 30 older adults in the greater Portland area have volunteered to participate in the Orcatech living laboratory program.

Dorothy Rutherford, 86, a petite redhead with a deadpan wit, is one of them. And she is a model for the kind of independent aging, abetted by technology, that the researchers hope to encourage.

Her bone-colored earrings — a gift from a dentist who made them from denture material — dangle as she gives me a tour of the equipment that researchers have installed in her apartment. Sensors that monitor the speed and frequency of her activity dot the ceilings and cling to furniture, appliances and doors.

“I have no worries about privacy whatsoever,” she declares, waving at the ceiling. “They are just sensors, not video cameras.”

A wireless smart pillbox reminds her to take her daily vitamins. A computer on which she plays specific word and number games tracks her daily scores.

But her favorite experiment so far involved an anthropomorphic robot from Vgo Communications, nicknamed Celia, that was equipped with a video screen. Mrs. Rutherford’s granddaughter and great-granddaughter in Wyoming could remotely operate Celia any time they wanted to follow her around for a video chat.

Mrs. Rutherford, a retired waitress, already uses Skype to talk to family members. But Skype is stationary, she says, while the robot conveniently wheels itself from room to room.

“When I saw Celia the robot, I thought there are all kinds of possibilities to get you set up at home,” she says. “Why would somebody go to a retirement community if they can figure out a way to keep people home longer?”

Even so, the pilot program is not inexpensive: it costs about $1,000 to set up each participant with a computer and $6 sensors, plus $2,600 a year for technical support, Internet access and home visits from researchers. Monitoring costs vary. (The robot, which is not a regular feature of the program and which participants tried for about a week each, costs $6,000 plus a monthly $100 service fee.)

The continuous monitoring of people like Mrs. Rutherford may point the way to more preventive health care — an alternative to the pattern of doctors seeing elderly patients on an infrequent basis, often treating them only after they have developed acute illnesses or had accidents. “What if there were thousands of homes around America that had these simple systems in place?” Dr. Kaye of Orcatech says about the monitoring system.

The idea is to determine whether changes in daily habits — like walking speed, posture, sleep, pill taking, computer game scores — can accurately predict things like cognitive decline or balance problems, allowing doctors to intervene before someone falls and, say, breaks a hip.

Intel and General Electric recently started a joint venture, Intel-GE Care Innovations, to develop technologies that help older adults stay independent. They are already marketing the Intel Health Guide, a home monitoring system that helps doctors remotely manage patients’ care.

There’s just one obstacle: the marketplace for age independence technology is in its infancy. Because of ageism, Mr. Dishman says, many retailers aren’t ready to make space for such products and many companies don’t even want to develop them.

“Life enhancement technology for boomers is a chicken-and-egg problem,” he says. Is “the market going to take the first plunge, or are companies going to create technologies without knowing whether we can sell it?”

He has been on a mission, he says, to have Congress put the issue on the national agenda; he’d also like to see the White House establish a commission on aging. The European Union, he points out, has already committed more than one billion euros to study technology and aging.

But so far, the officials he has met with have not taken up the cause, he says. In the laundry list of initiatives in his State of the Union address last month, President Obama pushed clean energy, not gray tech.

Mr. Dishman asks: “What do we need to do for aging and gray technology to have the same urgency and investment that global warming” and green technology have?

GRAMPA. Golden ager. Elderly person. Senior citizen.

Americans have come to associate agedness with frailty and disability rather than with institutional memory and expertise.

“People somehow assume that when we are young, we are vital,” says Ken Dychtwald, the C.E.O. of AgeWave, a research and consulting organization that focuses on population aging. “Then, when we pass 40, we are on a downward slope to death.”

For more than a quarter-century, Mr. Dychtwald, 60 and thus himself a baby boomer, has been trying to rebrand aging as a positive phenomenon. He’s coined a word — “middlescence” — to convey later life as a transformative stage, like adolescence, in which people have free time and an increased interest in trying new experiences. He also came up with an antidote to retirement: “rehirement.” (aunt ruth would agree!)

Now that the oldest baby boomers are turning 65, he says, their sheer numbers may attract industries that had earlier shied away. “If you are a Fortune 100 company, or an inventor in a garage, where are you going to find another demographic that is that large, that robust in spending power, that open to new possibilities, and that underserved?” he asks. “There’s nothing to rival it.”

In 2009, for example, baby-boomer households in the United States spent about $2.6 trillion, according to estimates from AgeWave based on a consumer expenditure survey by the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

But so far, he says, very few companies have applied creative intelligence to understanding older adults and developing game-changing technologies, services, experiences and even new careers for them.

Imagine a new real estate sector, he says, that caters to the former hippies among baby boomers who want to form retirement communities with friends by buying six-bedroom communal penthouses in Chicago or farms in Vermont. Or Internet cemeteries, he says, that would preserve video libraries of people’s lives for their descendants to enjoy.

“Rather than viewing maturity as an opportunity to sell people a golf membership or an arthritis medicine,” he says, “since a person who turns 60 has another 20 years, why not create educational programs whereby people can be motivated to go out, learn new skills and have an encore?” (aunt ruth has never stopped learning)

AGNES, the age empathy suit developed by the M.I.T. AgeLab, is calibrated to simulate the dexterity, mobility, strength and balance of a 74-year-old. My empathy has clearly deepened after a few hours of road-testing it. But, sheepishly, I still want to shed the suit and its instant add-on decades.

Professor Coughlin started AgeLab in 1999 to address what he calls “the longevity paradox” — the idea that, while people in many developed countries now live several decades longer than those born a century ago, very few policy makers, institutions and industries are dedicated to helping people make those extra decades healthy and productive.

More than a decade later, with boomers starting to turn 65, experts like Professor Coughlin hope to make gray the new green. Their job would be easier if it were fun to wear Agnes.

Valentine Thoughts

2011-02-02T10:00:00.000-08:00

Aunt Ruth is thoughtful in planning for the future, and several years ago, she decided to hire a pal, a companion, and someone with whom she could have fun BEFORE she might actually need the traditional caregiver. She was wise and fortunate to hire Connie, a loving, tender, reliable, and compassionate caregiver Aunt Ruth had known for many years. Connie had taken care of others in the apartment building where Aunt Ruth lives, so they had met and become friends.

When I began photographing for loving aunt ruth, Connie was still working elsewhere, so I have had the honor, privilege, and pleasure of watching their relationship deepen. Aunt Ruth has taught Connie how to be a Jewish cook, and I think Connie has become somewhat of Jewish Mother, since she has named most of her cats with Hebrew words. She has even mastered the art of pronouncing the "ch" sounds. Aunt Ruth and Connie often dress alike without conferring like Mothers and daughters are known to do on occasion.

In the earliest photographs, there was a shared humor and respect, and I can recall Aunt Ruth saying after a photo day, "That is the first time you hugged me, Connie." Today, there is hugging, hand-holding, the finishing of sentences with a profound commitment to each other's well-being.

As I think about Valentine's day and love, Aunt Ruth and Connie come to mind. Aunt Ruth was right about hiring a helper, but because of the loving, open-hearted person Aunt Ruth is, the possibility of genuine devotion existed. Connie is lucky too!

This February 14, I salute Aunt Ruth and Connie and their joy, and I feel enormous gratitude that I picked up my camera to begin this project, or I might have missed learning from both of them.

Happy Valentine's Day to you all from Aunt Ruth and me.

Are You Free for Dinner?

2011-01-20T08:22:00.000-08:00

I am in the School of Aunt Ruth, because I learn something every time I take the time spend the time with her, ask questions, and listen to her answers. In the years that I have been photographing for the forthcoming book, loving aunt ruth, one of the most important things I have learned is to stay engaged with friends, and one of the ways Aunt Ruth keeps connected is to entertain.

Several years ago, Aunt Ruth hired Connie to help her do all the things she loved before she really needed assistance. Smart, right? Each week, Aunt Ruth and Connie grocery shop, cook, and freeze vats of food, so that Aunt Ruth can continue to live her life surrounded by friends. Dinner dates, lunch dates, or football Sundays find Aunt Ruth with her friends enjoying a warm meal prepared earlier in the week. If someone falls ill, Aunt Ruth is at his or her door with a meal, because she makes sure there is always something delicious in the freezer ready for a delivery. Nice.

I have started cooking, freezing, and inviting friends "in," rather than meeting for dinner, because I am learning from Aunt Ruth that sharing an evening with friends is an important habit that will keep me connected, active, and...happy. As Aunt Ruth says, "you have to have a will to live, and that will comes from loving people." I haven't asked her, but I think a passion for cooking helps!

In case you want to have friends for a tasty brunch, I have included one of Aunt Ruth's favorite strata recipes. I know it's got eggs and white bread, but cast fate to the wind, make it, and invite some friends over and toast Aunt Ruth!

Aunt Ruth and I would love to know what lessons YOU have learned from your Aunt Ruth, so please leave a comment here. Thanks for stopping by....Aunt Ruth and honey

I'll Show You Mine

2011-01-10T08:42:00.000-08:00

Aunt Ruth loves to have young people in her house, and this past weekend, my youngest son and I spent a glorious day with her. Of course, it starts with a great deli sandwich (on rye, of course) includes a good pickle, lots of laughs, followed by comfortable conversation.

My son is showing Aunt Ruth his pictures, and as you can see, they are on his phone. She offered to show him hers. "I don't think young people appreciate pictures like these anymore. They are like show-and-tell when we were in school. I show you a picture and tell you the story."

I'm not offering a judgement on photo storage, but I can assure you that without the albums, our family would not be as rich in story.

We are grateful to Aunt Ruth for keeping us all by her side for another round of family history... and for the sandwich! May you be inspired to hang out with some of your elders and listen to their life tales, but if you can't stay for the show, at least enjoy a sandwich.

A Chorus Line of Forever Friends

2011-01-03T14:07:00.000-08:00

During the years I photographed for loving aunt ruth, I met bushels of Aunt Ruth's life long friends. Most of these fabulous people have spent their lives in Akron, Ohio, so they have shared memories that date back not only to their own kindergarten experiences but to their children's schooling, grandchildren's, and even great grandchildren's memorable moments. Extraordinary times...when families weren't scattered around the world.

New Year's eve was another opportunity for Aunt Ruth to socialize with some of her dear ones. Dress up. Laugh. Raise glasses in toasts honoring the memories of husbands, children, and friends who are gone.

As I lifted the camera up to focus, I found myself deeply appreciative for the lessons Aunt Ruth has generously shared with me. My commitment to nurturing friendships has deepened, and I find myself planning more gatherings than I have in the past. All right, maybe it's just to compete with Aunt Ruth, but my life is fuller since emulating what I admire about hers.

I had the pleasure of working with a young and very talented photographer, Tanya, editing the hundreds of images of Aunt Ruth, and I asked her what she learned during her tenure in my studio. She said Aunt Ruth's advice to appreciate everything has stayed with her.

Me too.

Aunt Ruth and 2011

2010-12-30T09:37:00.000-08:00

I am very grateful that Aunt Ruth will continue to teach me in 2011. Photographing her for loving aunt ruth has been an education ranging from life in the Depression to organizational tips for kitchens, pantries, and closets. New recipes have been added to my file and a deep appreciation for family, faith, and friends grew in ways that I didn't know possible from listening to the importance the 3 "f's" play in her life.

Aunt Ruth is now 91-and-a-half, as she likes to say, and she is the most social person I know. As I write this blog, she is preparing for another New Year's gathering of lifelong friends. Real friends. Lately, I have found that my friends are more often than not contacted when I pick up my Blackberry or click the mouse on my Mac.

For 2011, I resolve to be more like Aunt Ruth. Here is her wish for 2011:

If you would like to send yours to Aunt Ruth, please leave a comment here, or send it to my email address:
photography@honeylazar.com. Aunt Ruth enjoys hearing from you!

Happy New Year from Aunt Ruth and Me.

Maya Angelou and Aunt Ruth

2010-12-17T11:38:00.000-08:00

Aunt Ruth served our country in various jobs. As part of the "greatest generation," there was a lot more service than there is today, and Aunt Ruth's involvement impresses and humbles me. She drove military vehicles, worked as an accountant during the war while her husband was in London. Her accountant's job was to ferret out inappropriate naval expenses. During the Carter administration, she was one of two women chosen for a 12-person committee to review applicants for federal judgeships in the state of Ohio. She had a reputation from her years of work in the Women's Auxillary of the Ohio Bar Association.

Yesterday, I asked her which of her achievements gave her the most pride, and without hesitation, she said, "when I read resumes for the federal court. That is a lifetime appointment, and while on the committee, I noticed a common pleas judge who had said he had never been divorced on his application. He lied. I knew his first wife! I reported the lie knowing that if he was dishonest about his marital status, he was not someone who should be a federal judge! He never got over being rejected, but I like to think I saved a lot of people from rulings handed down by a dishonest man."

Maya Angelou says, "People show you who they are the first time." Aunt Ruth says that she never met Maya, but I wonder....

Thanks, Aunt Ruth for standing by your principles. (we could sure use her now!)

Home for the Holidays

2010-12-10T09:33:00.000-08:00

I have come to rely on Aunt Ruth for recipes and rules by which to live what Oprah would refer to as "my best life." Holidays can find me quite reflective about the past, so I spent a sumptuous Sunday with my favorite mentor and asked her just how she lives life with optimism, determination, and humor.

Here's what she told me, and it is our joint offering for a life lesson and a wish for a joyful holiday:

"I have faith. I get comfort from my religion, but most of all, I understand that life is not easy. You must have a will to live, and that will comes from loving people. Otherwise there wouldn't be much sense in living."

with love from Aunt Ruth and me....

Baking with Heart

2010-12-05T15:58:00.000-08:00

The table is set for a party, and you will note that the cookies are marked "sugar free" to insure having a sweet offering to those who need to avoid sugar. Aunt Ruth cooks the way she lives; thinking of others, and today, I was sitting in her kitchen with a menorah behind me talking about Christmas cookies.

Aunt Ruth grew up in a neighborhood that didn't have any other Jewish families, and her mother baked delicious Christmas fare to deliver to everyone. My grandmother's home was kosher, so you might not imagine her to be cutting out cookie dough with Christmas tree cutters and stars. My grandmother loved all people, and she taught Aunt Ruth and her sister, my mother, to feel the same way.

In the spirit of the holidays, compassion, and cookies, Aunt Ruth offers her favorite cookie recipe on the blog that doesn't use eggs in case someone needs an eggless delight! She says they are delicious and passes this onto all with her sincere wishes for your good health, happy holidays, and her appreciation for your interest in her.

Cookies without Eggs for Any Occasion
2 C flour
8 heaping teaspoons confectioner's sugar
2 sticks of margarine
1 teaspoon of vanilla
1/2 C walnuts, finely chopped

Put all the ingredients in the processor EXCEPT the nuts. You'll add those at the last minute. For the dough into a ball and refrigerate for 1/2 hour. Add nuts and roll into little balls. Press them with a fork to make a criss-cross pattern.

Bake at 375 for 13-15 minutes

When cool, sprinkle with sugar in red, blue, green, or any holiday color! That is the point!

If you have any questions or requests for Aunt Ruth, please leave your comments here, on Facebook, or email directly to me at honeylazar4@gmail.com.

See you in the kitchen!

Mantra

2010-11-29T09:33:00.000-08:00

In this technological age, when we use our iphones, ipads, laptops, blackberry devices at the same time we are driving, knitting, exercising, cooking, or listening to a lecture, I notice that many of us cannot remember where we put our keys, with whom we just made a date, or exactly when we put the pie in the oven! And this is not about being of a certain age....

Aunt Ruth uses the Internet and the phone but not simultaneously. There have been questions on this blog or in email regarding her organizational skills. It is true that Aunt Ruth ran many civic and religious organizations, raised two children, entertained, and has a legion of friends, but she is not often confused about who's coming when or with whom let alone our current political climate. She doesn't read the paper when she's with friends, and if she had an iphone with a New York Times app, I think she'd look at it when she was alone.

She says the secret is simple; do one thing at a time. Cliche? Certainly! Do any of us live by this mantra?
Not likely! I found myself repeating her advice while preparing to serve turkey to 16, work on the blog, edit the book, pack photo gear for a shoot, wrap Hanukah and Christmas presents, address holiday cards, and make beds and couches for arriving guests. Each time I lost my footing or felt my heart race or wondered what exactly I was doing standing in the middle of the laundry room with my Blackberry in my hand, I thought of Aunt Ruth. Do one thing...

I tried her idea, and it worked. Today, we call it mindfulness, but even before it had a zen spin, Aunt Ruth was chanting her secret to success. Aunt Ruth says that, "Doing one thing at a time allows you to enjoy the holidays...and your life."

Nice.

Thanksgiving

2010-11-22T05:20:00.000-08:00

Twenty years ago, I created a Book of Thanks, a journal that holds a yearly question for each Thanksgiving guest to answer. Loving Aunt Ruth, the photo project on which this blog is based, was not a thought six years ago when the book's query asked to name something you did for another person, draw your hand, and write your name and age. I wasn't paying attention to the generous and gracious way that Aunt Ruth conducted her life, but the evidence was clearly right in front of me. "...three friends in nursing homes..."

Aunt Ruth has opened her oven door to an inestimable population, and she does it without an announcement, without fanfare, or awards. She entertains, delivers, and spends each week cooking to stay connected to others in the most delicious of ways. Aunt Ruth didn't need an expert to advise her that friends and food had value!

Influenced by Aunt Ruth, I make double the amount of food necessary for my invited guests. Each of my family members and friends brings a bag of empty containers in order to take home all the leftovers they can tote, because the joy of the meal is meant to linger and most importantly, to be shared.

I have this year's question already logged into the journal. I look forward to all of the answers but most especially to Aunt Ruth's.

Aunt Ruth and I wish your family, friends, and you a delicious holiday. We thank you for reading our blog and leaving comments. Aunt Ruth delights in answering any of your questions, so please feel free to continue asking.

Bon Appetite!

Remembering

2010-11-14T12:19:00.000-08:00

On a quiet Sunday, I am looking over the hundreds of images taken over the years to comprise, Loving Aunt Ruth, and I find myself coming back to this photo array. These unobtrusive frames hold Aunt Ruth's mother, her husband, her children, cousins, great nieces, great-great nieces, and her siblings. They welcome a visitor's gaze and even questions, but they are on display as reminders of what matters most to Aunt Ruth not necessarily to arouse curiosity. Her family is and always has been the most important part of her life.

I have referenced this technological age with more friends on Facebook than any of us really know,and I think that the family photo might be at risk for living only on a computer rather than in plain view. Aunt Ruth's choice of interior accessory, her family, has kept me connected to many sweet memories that I might have forgotten without those tiny framed reminders.

As the holidays approach, I think of the maxim, "Never forget who brought you to the dance." Or as Maya Angelou said, "Never forget that you've been paid for." Aunt Ruth has definitely brought me to the dance. She has taught me the importance of remembering all who "paid for me" along with all the laughter, recipes, and Sabbath candles we have shared.

I think I'd better dust off some of my own framed loved ones before I open the doors for this year's Thanksgiving dinner. Aunt Ruth is bringing the pumpkin pie. I will be taking photos.

We will remember this year for sure, but we will also mention those missing from our table as well.

Please leave a comment here for Aunt Ruth.

Happy Thanksgiving....take pictures and print them!

Test Kitchen

2010-11-07T15:59:00.000-08:00

My Aunt Ruth is more organized than I can ever imagine being. These are all new recipes waiting to be tested and rated. Yes, she rates them as "good" or "bad" and files them. The reason the lackluster ones get a place is that she might not remember her displeasure and make it by mistake. When you are 91, labels help.

Being organized is another lesson I am learning from Aunt Ruth. It isn't my reflex, so I spend far too much time looking for things. She never does. Really, she knows where all of her things are, because there is a place for everything, and everything in its place.

With the holidays approaching, cards being written, tables being set, and deadlines for work pressing in on me, I am wondering where I put my glasses, placed my coffee, laid my grocery list, or even if I remembered to extinguish the pumpkin pie scented candle I had burning in the kitchen.

Paying attention to small things that make life easier is one of the many ways Aunt Ruth influences me every single day. Maybe, she can do the same for you.

A reminder...please leave comments on subjects you might want Aunt Ruth to address on this blog as well as any remarks that might be great in the forthcoming book, Loving Aunt Ruth are greatly appreciated. And..if you'd like some holiday recipes, send me your postal address. honeylazar4@gmail.com

I'm Just Too Busy Right Now

2010-11-04T18:20:00.000-07:00

Another holiday season is upon us, and just when I wanted to gasp, sigh, and whine, I thought of Aunt Ruth. At 91, she is still spending most of her days in her kitchen going through her collection of recipes to find just the right ones to prepare for friends. That's right....for friends. She has several dinner and lunch dates in her apartment during the week, and if a dear one can't make it to her place, she brings the meal.

I find myself saying the same thing that I have been hearing all to often; "I'd love to, but I am so busy right now." Aunt Ruth has never been too busy for her family or her friends which is probably why she had 165 people at her 90th birthday party.

Of course, I have more than 165 friends on Facebook. Right? One of the many lessons I have learned from Aunt Ruth is the importance of socializing, caring, listening, and, yes, cooking and serving with love.

I hope to make her proud this Thanksgiving. If you'd like to send a message to Aunt Ruth, please leave your comment on this blog. She does read this!

Back to the kitchen....

Appreciate Everything

2010-10-31T12:23:00.000-07:00

Aunt Ruth has taught me many lessons during the years of photographing her for loving aunt ruth. I have asked her for advice on subjects ranging from how to make a brisket to staying the course when life continues to challenge me.

Aunt Ruth has lost her husband, siblings, and her children. She offers her wisdom of experience with compassionate understanding. Her perpetual refrain, "appreciate everything," seems generic. Not much of an "aha moment." Yet....it is surely easy for me to forget the simplicity of appreciation.

As I write, I am staring into the Pacific Ocean, and I am thinking of just how lucky I am to have picked up my camera and asked Aunt Ruth if I could photograph her, because in between all her parties, hair appointments, doctor appointments, and neighbor visits, were the quiet times when a wise woman leaned back to share thoughts with an eager listener.

I will be home soon and can't wait to hear more from Aunt Ruth, but for now, I am certain she will be thrilled to know that I definitely appreciate everything.

Thanks, Aunt Ruth, for the reminder.

Precious Objects

2010-10-25T08:05:00.000-07:00

Aunt Ruth moved from the house she loved more than 20 years ago and decisions were made about what to leave behind, as her husband and she moved to an apartment. Today, I watch as she goes through her things deciding whether the library would want her books, a neighbor might need a serving piece, or a relative would treasure her baby shoes. (Yes, I would be that niece.)

Aunt Ruth is currently busy culling her favorite pumpkin pie recipes, so please don't get the idea she's packing the final suitcase, but she is showing me the importance of tidying up, keeping what is useful while understanding that it is nice to see what mattered to you matter to someone else. It is quite a lovely behavior to observe and adopt.

This weekend, I channeled for my inner Aunt Ruth. My niece was visiting me from New York, and I gave her the watch my mother had given to me. I like knowing that she has it, and I am grateful for Aunt Ruth's role modeling that informed my own desire to "pass on" and "let go." It is a good lesson.

Thanks, Aunt Ruth.

Sisterhood

2010-10-16T14:15:00.000-07:00

These gloves belong to Aunt Ruth and her sister, Leah, who was also my mother. The stacking represents how I see the sisters. Aunt Ruth beams as she says, "My sister was older than I, smarter than I, and more beautiful than I. She is not diminishing her worth by admiring her sister. In fact, it is quite the opposite. She is proud of her sister without an ounce of jealousy. (I'm sure they had disagreements, but the adoration always seemed seamless to me.)

I am one of three girls, and Aunt Ruth has had to stand in for our deceased Mother, and like many sisters, we can vie for favor. She doesn't give it. She loves us in equal measure just as she loved her brother and sister. This is not to say she doesn't offer us counsel, and believe me, she is the first to point out a typographical or factual error on the blog, but editorial commentary and advice are part of an aunt's job. She loves each of us equally.

She has taught me to see my sisters like the pile of gloves; pairs of hands to applaud each other's triumphs and hold each other when life is unkind.

Thanks, Aunt Ruth.

A Woman of Independent Means

2010-10-11T15:56:00.000-07:00

My mother was 39 when she was widowed with 3 young daughters. I always thought that this circumstance was the reason she counseled us to make certain we "kept our own money" when we married. When I began photographing Aunt Ruth for loving aunt ruth, I discovered that it was my grandmother who gave this advice to her daughters. They listened to her, and throughout their lives, they kept "a little something" for themselves. They were careful and cautious women who learned from the Depression and from young widowhood that nothing is certain.

I photographed Aunt Ruth leading a meeting discussing her taxes, because I admire her business acumen and confidence when it comes to taking care of herself beyond the kitchen! She is 89-years-old in this photograph! Aunt Ruth is definitely a woman of independent means, and she means to stay that way.

Always A Baby

2010-10-08T12:08:00.000-07:00

My Aunt Ruth and I are the third born children of three in each of our families, which means, we are the babies in the family. This explains why my mother never stopped reminding me to send a "thank you note," brush my teeth, or dress warmly. For too many of my adult years, I resented my mother's reminders, and I won't mention the scoldings, but as I aged, I settled into enjoying the role of being her baby. My older siblings might suggest I liked the role a little too much.

My mom has been gone for 9 years, and her baby sister has stepped up to the plate to let me know if my letters have typos, my sense of direction needs adjusting, or to drive carefully on my way home from seeing her. (I live 45 minutes away from my beloved aunt.)

There is a very good chance that my own grown sons could add paragraphs about the advice they endure from me, but the point I wanted to make today is that I am deeply grateful to be Aunt Ruth's baby. May the rest of you babies out there, and you know who you are, be glad to have a shoulder on which to rest.

Thank you Aunt Ruth for taking good care of me.

The wonderful photograph of Aunt Ruth and me was taken by the very talented Elizabeth Glorioso, www.elizabethglorioso.com.

recipes=memories

2010-10-04T12:02:00.000-07:00

Photographing for Loving Aunt Ruth turned out to be delicious and somewhat fattening. Well worth the pounds! Aunt Ruth is a marvelous cook with a recipe collection. Yes, these are her cards lovingly protected in plastic, because she is either cooking for friends, a temple function, or she is being asked for one of her treasured selections. She has been on countless charitable cookbook committees and served her family for more than 70 years.

But, that isn't why I am writing today's blog. It is to remind you to ask for recipes from people you love or even like as a way of gathering data that will keep people close to your heart in ways that allow you to cook and serve and create memorable moments of your own that tether you to someone else or your past.

Aunt Ruth and I will happily send you her recipe for Pecan Pie, if you send us your address to my email.

honeylazar4@gmail.com

Here's a recipe from the above collection that Aunt Ruth marked as "very good." Let us know if you agree!

Corn Pudding

12 oz vacuum packed can of corn

3T flour

1/4 cup sugar

1/2 cup milk or non dairy creamer

1T vanilla

2 eggs, beaten

4T melted butter

Combine all ingredients in the order listed making sure to stir the mixture while add the hot, melted butter.

Pur into a 1 1/2 qt. casserole and bake at 425 for 35 minutes or until golden.

Aunt Ruth says that it serves 4 if you're lucky. If you double the recipe, she asks that you remember to increase the baking time...maybe even up to an hour.

Invite some friends. Take it to friends....Enjoy!

Charming

2010-09-30T10:14:00.000-07:00

Stories are told in various ways. Aunt Ruth and I are ladies who had charm bracelets. On hers was her baby ring replete with teething marks along with trinkets from years of travel with her beloved husband who is now deceased. My mother bought mine. (note the bee hive) My mom brought me a little charm from her travels along with a couple that marked some of my childhood milestones; confirmation and learning to drive. They are all dear, and I always knew it. Fourteen karat gold and kept in a special box to this day, but their value to me outweighs monetary measure.

I spent the night with Aunt Ruth, photographed the story telling, and listened to the charmed tales emanating from her golden goodies. I left with her baby ring. My gift from her history.

Aunt Ruth has sold the gold, but the memories will linger in my photographs and heart. Thanks to Aunt Ruth, I am keenly aware of the many ways to remember.

Collecting

2010-09-26T13:07:00.000-07:00

I had a brilliant photography teacher, Mary Jo, and she theorized that we take many of the same pictures over and over again despite the contents appearing to be different. I did a project called The Portable Universe that was about the things women carry in bras, pockets, laundry bags, and so forth from cradle to grave as a way to bind women's lives without prejudice, since most women leave the house with a portable universe of things.

Photographing Aunt Ruth, I noticed that I was drawn to her photo array, her recipe box, and her giraffes. Most of the giraffes are gifts from friends and family, and they have become her signature. They make her laugh. In telling her story, the giraffes must be included.

I collect bees. No surprise with a name like Honey, and most of them have been presents. I have yet to have bee shoe ties like Aunt Ruth's giraffes.

Maybe, your Aunt Ruth would like to tell you about her collection. It is a nice way to get to know someone.

Mustering

2010-09-21T11:58:00.000-07:00

I have wonderful memories of riding in the car with my mom, as she pointed out front yards dotted with blooms or freshly mowed grass. She'd always say, "Honey, you can tell how happy someone is by the way they take care of their yard. " She was talking about attitude not finances.

Life has been a tad heavy lately. My terrace looks exactly like my mood which brings me to Aunt Ruth's terrace. I don't remember a summer when her yard didn't sing, and now that she's in an apartment, her terrace is always decorated with flowers. No matter what. Her husband and children are gone, but her life is filled with friends and family and an underlying optimism fueled by her faith and her attitude towards staying the course.

As you can see, I bought mums. They were my mom's favorite flower, and she adored her baby sister, Aunt Ruth.

To the sisters who taught this daughter and niece that mustering courage to plant flowers during tough times helps hope bloom, I send my deepest thanks.

Be Prepared

2010-09-13T09:20:00.000-07:00

By mid-century, people over 55 will outnumber those under 18 for the first time in history. As I face my own senior citizenship, the importance of learning from Aunt Ruth deepens. She is teaching me that caring for others through small acts of generosity and kindness make all the difference. She is always prepared to be of help.

In her building, Aunt Ruth is known as The Pharmacy. She keeps shelves stocked with bandages, aspirins, cough medicines, and various over-the-counter remedies that neighbors and friends might need but not be able to leave home to get. Her hours are 24/7, and the price is right!

Imagine the comfort of knowing that Aunt Ruth is upstairs!

Another lesson learned.....thanks, Aunt Ruth.

Honey Cake and Breaking the Fast

2010-09-09T07:57:00.000-07:00

With the honey cake in the oven, early morning is spent looking ahead to Yom Kippur and breaking the fast. Just when I thought that having grown children exempted me from cooking, Aunt Ruth has taught me that sharing holidays makes them sweeter. She is right, of course.

Photographing Aunt Ruth for Loving Aunt Ruth is teaching me how to live fully. Aging is a universal experience, so the separation between the photographed and the photographer seems quite blurred these days as appreciation deepens. Aunt Ruth and I hope that you are enjoying this project and are inspired to call some friends, have a gathering, and enjoy this day.

We appreciate all comments left here or on Facebook. Thanks, honey and Aunt Ruth

Rosh Hashana

2010-09-07T14:34:00.000-07:00

It is not easy at 91 to be making kreplach soup and brisket, but Aunt Ruth manages to delight us with her culinary skills, her welcoming hugs, and her commitment to family and friends. May you all have a sweet New Year, and if you are interested in a recipe, please send an email to photography@honeylazar.com, and Aunt Ruth will happily send you one of her favorites.

A Taste of Aunt Ruth

2010-09-01T13:41:00.000-07:00

Would You Like a Recipe?

Aunt Ruth is committed to friends and family. I am lucky to have enjoyed holidays, birthdays, and ordinary days with Aunt Ruth. She has taught me to make my home a welcoming place with something in the freezer just in case.

As her story unfolds on this blog and in Loving Aunt Ruth, I am aware that she would want her recipes in others' kitchens.

If you will send me an email to, photography@honeylazar.com, with your address, I will send you a taste of Aunt Ruth.

Aunt Ruth and Me

2010-08-30T13:09:00.000-07:00

This is me in my dad's darkroom which was built in 1950. My father died in 1954, and we moved away from this house 3 years later. The new owners were photographers, so they kept my dad's darkroom in tact. Wasn't that lucky?

My good friend, the talented Elizabeth Glorioso, took this photograph of me.

I spent much of my youth looking at my dad's pictures and grew up believing that taking pictures of everyone in my life would keep them close. I haven't changed my mind, so it was natural for me to begin photographing Aunt Ruth not only to get to know her better but to make certain my children and their children would remember her. Hats off to my dad for leading the way.

May these posts inspire you to discover your way of remembering.

Kuchen for the Holidays

2010-08-28T10:10:00.000-07:00

"Whenever my family sits at my table, it's a holiday."

Aunt Ruth

Plum Kuchen

serves 9

1 1/2 cups fork-stirred all purpose flour

1 t baking powder

1/2 t salt

1/2 cup butter

1/2 cup sugar

2 large eggs 1/4 cup cold water

1lb (18-20 small) fresh prune-plums, quartered, and pitted

1/4 cup sugar mixed with 1/4-1/2 t each ground allspice, cinnamon, nutmeg

Stir together flour, baking powder, salt. Cream butter and 1/2 cup sugar, beat in eggs well.

Add flour mixture and water; stir only until dry ingredients are moistened. Spread over the bottom of a buttered 9" square cake pan.

Lightly press plums, skin side up in rows over batter. Sprinkle them with spiced sugar mixture. Bake in a preheated 350 degree oven until a cake tester inserted in the center comes out clean-about 40 minutes.

Cut in squares and serve hot.

(for other recipe ideas, try http://www.epicurious.com/recipesmenus/holidays/highholydays/recipes)

Looking Back with Aunt Ruth

2010-08-24T11:15:00.000-07:00

"I think it is a good idea to keep pictures of family and friends close at hand, so your memories remind you how of how lucky you are."
Aunt Ruth

If you don't have enough of your own fun photos, check out my parents were awesome . Aunt Ruth would approve!

How would YOU like to be remembered?

2010-08-23T07:05:00.000-07:00

Introducing Loving Aunt Ruth

2010-08-19T06:46:00.000-07:00

Hello!

My name is Honey and I am a photographer, living and working in Cleveland, OH.

Welcome to my blog!

Take a look at my recently completed series titled Loving Aunt Ruth.

I can't wait to hear what you think!

Enjoy!!

Additional photographs from the series are available on my website